-
Sleeping On The Job …
Another session of being poked, prodded and nudged. Walking into the Dr. Office I fill out the paper work and I assumed the position in the comfortable chair, put my head back on the wall and once again drift off.
An image quickly forms in my mind. Taking my time, I saunter down the red carpet, walk up the eight steps to the stage. I can feel every eye in the room watching me, this is my time to shine, my day in the sun. The host stands at the podium, alongside some blond goddess, with cleavage that would stop a FedEx truck.
He shakes my hand, places the award in my other hand and says:
We understand that you have decided to retire from trying to communicate with the Human Race after spending a whole lot of time on FakeBook, Bus Boards, and the Internet. I want to take a moment today to take some time out of my busy schedule to extend to you my heart felt appreciation for your service.
Thank you for spending a large portion of your time with us and thank you for the dedication you have shown to our members, be they old timers or new comers. We are very proud of your commitment and know you have had many memorable experiences and made, many, many friends along the way.
It is my profound hope that as you move into the next phase of your life, that you will come back from time to time to share with us your marvelous sense of humor and wit, that you will continue to point out the little nuances and quirks of modern day bus life. It is with great respect and pleasure we hereby present to you our Lifetime Achievement. Snort! Snort! Chortle.
The receptionist gently taps me on the shoulder, “Mr. Smith? Mr. Smith? It is time for your appointment.”
I have fallen asleep again. Man, sure hope I wasn’t snoring.
Looking around the room EVERYONE is looking at me and they are all smiling.
Nuts!
They are really going to love me at the home.
<><><>
-
8 Replies
-
Maybe you were talking in your sleep instead of snoring and the other folks in the office were smiling about your acceptance speech…
-
This could be the case, I am not sure. I have done it before, and it is always embarassing. You ever notice, if you are at the Dr. Office, everyone is talking and congenial, the pictures of the grandbabies come out? You go see a proctologist, and everyone stares at the floor.
BCO
-
This guy is at Starbucks in one of the lounge chairs having his coffee when all of a sudden his belly starts to roll and he has the really bad pressure and has to expell gas. He looks around, the music is load and he figures he’ll just let one rip and time it to the loud drums and no one will hear. He let er rip and ahhhhh so much better. He looks around, everyone was looking at him and he realizes he has his head phones on!
Could have been worse Oakie….
-
like the elderly couple in church. the wife says “Honey, I just passed a silent fart. What should I do?”
Hubby says, “Turn on your hearing aid.”
-
And to think we ask serious questions from the folks on this site, which is bad, but worse, we expect answers.
When did the clowns move here and who let them in??????????
-
Yes, in my case, it can always get worse. I remember being in Las Vegas, and not having what you would call a spectacular run of good luck, so I shrugged my shoulders, and out loud, to no one in particular, I said, “It cannot get any worse.”
Wrong.
Worse will follow you across the street.
BCO
-
Jon said: “And to think we ask serious questions from the folks on this site, which is bad, but worse, we expect answers. When did the clowns move here and who let them in??????????“
I think you and Tom are responsible… Don’t you guys approve the memberships while collecting the dues?
-
I think dues money trumps member numptiness!
Log in to reply.