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Hell Has Frozen Over Twice
After having breakfast this morning with Jeff, Buddy, Jon and your’s truly we were on our way back to Vonore in Buddy’s truck and this red corvette passes us at a high speed, maybe 42 mph. Next thing I know, Buddy’s flip phone rings (ya I know, smart phone, hello) and he gets a call from Jon. This may not sound like a big deal, but you have to remember, this is the guy that will never have slides, never have glued stainless, never turns on his flip phone and never, never talks on the phone while driving. Jeff and I are witnesses and we can be bought.
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4 Replies
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They are really lying when they talk about my speed. I will admit I can get wild and crazy, and in the 10 years I have had the Corvette I have had it as fast as 85 MPH, but today I might have gotten as high as 32, but not 42.
As to the phone………..give me a break. Those three are troublemakers. I demand proof I made a call, especially while driving as they allege. Everyone knows a car with a manual transmission prevents the use of a cell phone because a person cannot talk on a phone and shift at the same time. In fact cell phones are the very reason you can’t hardly by a car you actually have to drive.
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Some years ago I was stopped at a traffic signal (RED) behind a Female driving an old Neon. In her left hand she held a cell phone and was in active conversation with someone. In her right hand she held a lit cigarette. I thought the Neon had to be equipped with an automatic transmission. The traffic signal changed to green and the Neon pulled off – and the driver had to shift gears. It was a manual transmission.
So see Jon, it is possible to do all these things when using a manual transmission, unless what you are really saying is your 10 year old Vette is not as sophisticated as an old Neon!
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At 32mph he’s still in first gear…
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Wait a minute………..you mean there are more than one gear?
This is starting to get complicated.
Will, It is my understanding the females that drive cars with manual transmissions and who multi-task possess a brain that has features unlike the average male brain. First, if their car is a manual they avoid shifting so they can do other things with their hands. They just leave it in 3rd or 4th and slip the clutch until the car gets moving. that way they only use their feet for forward motion. The male brain cannot comprehend such an action.
They do use one hand or depending on the other tasks a shoulder to hold the phone to their ear. Then the remaining hand or hands can be used to use eyelash curlers, hold a breakfast burritio, or apply lipstick. Unfortunately as the workload increases the portion of the brain that is required to maintain speed, keep in lane, anticipate traffic stops, etc is used for other tasks and thus those tasks become secondary to the important stuff like changing radio stations.
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