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Cheaper Than A Mistress
Suddenly I find myself craving a fresh bowl of gravy and a hairball, so I go over to the local beanery. The local beanery is American slang. In some circles it is also known as a Choke & Puke, but we are not about being gross this day, so we will call it a beanery.
Hunger my driving concern forced me out of the shop, those pesky slack adjusters can wait, it is time for food and another adventure into the public arena. I need nourishment, someone radar me something to eat and make it fast!
Sliding into a booth at Denny’s the world seems circumspect almost peaceful and serene. And then suddenly, as if by magic, he finds himself lost in a world of his own. In his mind’s eye he envisions himself walking around the bus meet parking lot, where he stumbles across Mona.
She was interesting, her old 4104 looked tired and run down. She said that she had just drove straight thru from the World Famous Darrel Waltrip Truck-stop in Franklin, Kentucky, and only used five quarts of oil.
The bus looked pretty tired, but Mona, now she was a little different.
She had the mystery of Garbo or Monroe, the allure of Lauren Bacall, the torso of Bridgett Bardo (which is really dating this guy, he should be using Jay Lo or Britney Speers someone like that). Feeling lucky he invites her back to his 89 Prevo, with the polished slack adjusters and freshly painted underbody. Opening the door he invited her in and she looked at him and smiled. “I like what you have done with the floors.”
The perfect entrance to a man’s heart. Sweat Equity and Power Tools.
A very intelligent smart girl.
He looked at her, lost in his passion, with awe and ecstasy (It has been a long time, no?). “He pulled her mouth to his and kissed her so hard she moaned.” His mind is now racing, “she is so beautiful and she already knows how to dump! I must be in heaven he thought to himself.”
Yeah!
This is much, much better.
A grim smile played across his lips (almost a sneer) then they made passionate love on the back bedroom regular sized bed with the convenient storage underneath (yeah I am sure, in your dreams lover boy). Her trim, brown skinned body was bare, save for a wet sweat filled bikini (89 Prevo’s apparently are not all that cool this time of the year).
He ran his hand along her back to the string that fastened her bikini top. Tan lines traced her beautiful torso all the way to her triangle of her — And then the plate hit the counter with a resounding ring!
“You the Grand Slam, the side of ham and the hash browns?”
Back to reality.
Wake up its early, eat your eggs they’re ready and you have slack adjusters to polish Jon. We counted 15 Prevo’s northbound out of Houston the other day, one of them looked just like yours. Was going to call and see, but I could not locate my flip-phone. Well, that is the way it goes. One of these days, I hope it is soon, I am gonna get me a life. The wife said I cannot keep living vicariously thru you.*
BCO
Any resemblance to anyone owning, driving, or selling a 4104 or full-timing or traveling in a 89 Prevo is purely co-incidental and should not be taken as factual. No reprints of this article are allowed unless you have written permission from the NFL or America Has Got Talent. Please no phone calls, all of our off-shore operators are busy.
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15 Replies
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Glad to see you getting along and your witt refreshing. stay dry and watch them twisters. Bob
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BCO is teasing us again with his prose.
In the interests of full disclosure my coach no longer has slack adjusters, hence nothing to polish.
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Good stuff BCO.
I think BCO had a change in his meds….smile
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Apparently they are working. Maybve he can get us some.
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I could sure use a 30 day prescription of what ever he is on. I figure in 30 days I’d be dead.
I got excited just reading it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I love my coach but it doesn’t do exactly that to me!
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Oakie, you know Jon has a flip phone, but remember, he doesn’t turn it on.
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I actually had the phone with me yesterday, and in fact I had it turned on the entire day.
It never rang, and I never made a call.
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Mr. Popular 🙂
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Jon,
Next time your turn it one… send me an email…. I will give you a call 🙂
Bill
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First I have to remember to turn it on. Then I have to remember to send an email.
This is starting to get really complicated.
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Wow Tom, he actually turned it on, I am impressed. The next thing you know Jon, we will find you on FakeBook.
Presently, I am trying to make FRIENDS outside of FAKEBOOK while applying the same principles. Therefore, every day I walk down the street I tell any passerby what I have eaten, how I feel, what I have done the night before, and what I will do after.
I give them pictures of my wife, my kids, my dog, my bus, and me spending time hiking or riding the trails in our area. I also listen to their conversations and I tell them I love them.
And it
REALLY WORKS.
I already have 3-persons following me:TWO POLICE OFFICERS and a PSYCHIATRIST.
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I am getting the distinct impression BCO is poking fun at Facebook and Facebook users.
I might be wrong.
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Based on some of the stuff seen on Facebook…. BCO is dead on. LOL
BTW ….BCO, I sent your Facebook breakdown to my wife….so we’ll see how that goes over.
Facebook post example today….my wife says it’s …National Burger Day !
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Society needs one more thing for folks to play with on their tablet or phone while driving and Facebook sounds like it will do the trick.
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I have been over there for quite sometime, didn’t really start messing with it until October last year. It is okay, I suppose, but not as much fun as my site and some other places (like this one for example) and I have not stopped it, but cut back on it quite a bit.
As I have been issued even more Sarcasm by the National Institute (22% more) I am able to blend right in on FakeBook and increase my nuisance value and increase my phantom friends at the same time.
Can’t beat a deal like that.
BCO
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